I have different sides to me – an achiever, a wise loving woman, a task master, a whiney kid, a compassionate listener. When I was younger the achiever was running the show. She was in “charge.” I was completely work focused. Sometimes I would find it hard to relax. I was usually overcommitted. Then, I swung the other way. I became the relaxed hippie lady. I meditated 45 minutes a day. I did lots of yoga. Became a raw foodist. I totally slowed down. I had lots of great insights, but I felt off. I wasn’t doing enough. I had lots of ying – not enough yang. Or, it is the other way around?
I also used to struggle with decisions. Should I do this? Or, that? Or, maybe this and that? My thinking would loop as I considered all of my options. I would get dizzy.
Then one day I did an exercise called the life autobiography. I wrote my life story and considered my life up to the present day. When I analyzed my life to date and considered the important decisions I have made in my life, I had an epiphany. I have this part of me that always knows what to do. Sometimes it takes me awhile to listen to her, but when I do, she does not steer me wrong. She is wise and loving. She considers my head and heart and is perfectly balanced. When she speaks, her voice is crisp and clear. Mature.
Knowing there is a wise and loving part of me has had two implications for my life. First, I realized that I want “HER” running the show. I think of the different sides of me as executives around a board room table. I want HER as the Chair of the Board. My life is better when she calls the shots.
Second, if I want her in charge, I need to make sure that I can feel her. I have to be able to tap into her and hear her voice. For me, I hear her when I am in the forest. When I am running. Doing yoga. In a peaceful place. The other parts of me take over when I am too busy. Overcommitted. Tired. Now, when I am faced with big choices, my focus is on tapping into the wise and loving woman instead of thinking and doing pro and con lists. It is very liberating to know there is this balanced and wise part of me.
Now when I work with my clients, helping them find their chair of the board is at the top of our agenda.