http://youtu.be/8tD7HDz51Aw

http://www.hrvoice.org/bc-hrma-announces-2013-professional-award-recipients/

The common trap that comes from vision boards is that they provide us with grandiose visions of ourselves, often showcasing us as being the picture of grace, peace, calm, ambition, and authority.  How many times have you envisioned a future version of yourself as a helper of the world, glowing with the light of your goodness and the strength of your virtue? It’s a wonderful vision, isn’t it?

The challenge with this kind of vision is that you are the focal point, ultimately realizing your vision in dedication to yourself.  As people, if we focus so much on our own ascension and our own needs we often forget why we are doing what we are doing, and we lose a sense of purpose and meaning.  We end up moving our attention away from the people we are trying to help, the earth we are trying to sustain, or our broader mission and purpose and ultimately, we go about our vision in service of our own egos.  While this may produce some results, in order to really make a difference, feel truly fulfilled, and feel on purpose you ultimately need to be of service to others, and be connected to why you are doing what you are doing, beyond doing it for yourself.

Ilchi Lee, a teacher of meditation, who I went to see in Sedona, Arizona spoke of this concept.  He said that to be truly happy we need to think of ourselves as a cleaning cloth.  A cleaning cloth may start out clean and crisp, but once it gets to work it gets stained and tarnished, beautifying the world in the process.  A cleaning cloth may not have much status in the world, but it leaves everything in its wake beautiful and dazzling.

If you yourself chose to be of service to others and the world, and you do this again and again you will feel more joy, and be more fulfilled, but ultimately, you will also leave the world a better place.  If you get tired on the journey, like a cleaning cloth, you can always wash and cleanse yourself and be renewed again.

So, think about your own goals.  Why are you doing what you do?  How it is of service to others?  To the world?  What is your motive?  Why does your contribution matter?  What positive changes do you want to see in the world?  In your workplace?  How can you help?  These are important questions to ask yourself, or your top management team because often a slight shift in motive, can yield a big shift in results.

This highly engaging workshop will tell the story of how Kal Tire created a learning culture, and developed customized in house management certification programs as the foundation for their global leadership development and succession programs. Kal Tire’s leadership development program “certifies” managers across hundreds of stores in Canada, and in more than 13 countries. This has contributed to their growth to a billion dollar corporation and helped them to become a world leader in the tire industry and it is one of their primary advantages when attracting talent. In the workshop we will explain how Kal Tire created a learning culture by embedding management certification programs into their operations and by providing incentives for learning, and we will explain how they integrated these programs into succession planning initiatives.

To register please contact www.bchrma.org

Board Engagement - The Board is responsible for managing the CEO succession process, and their ability to do this well is one measure of their ability to effectively provide governance.   Before the Board can effectively lead this process they need to be in agreement on the strategic plan of the organization and the right culture.  These two things will be critical for identifying what kind of CEO is needed in the future.

Current CEO’s Attitude – For succession to work, the current CEO needs the right attitude about the process.  They need to see it as a way to build a lasting legacy, not a threat.  Uncovering the CEO’s attitude early on, and being aware that some of their insecure feelings may be hidden from view can be important for success, and save pain later on.

Internal Candidates – Identifying internal candidates for the CEO role can be both positive and negative.  On the one hand, it gives the organization adequate time to expose people to developmental assignments, yet it can also de-motivate executives who are not being considered for the top slot, but are valuable to the company.  Having a fair process for identifying internal candidates and keeping the runner’s up informed about decisions and progress can help to avoid retention problems and politics.

External Searches – Many organizations like to conduct an external search regardless of whether there are internal candidates.  This can be a good way to benchmark the quality of internal candidates versus the marketplace.  Yet, if an external search is being done it is important to put a timeline on it, so that internal candidates don’t feel like they are getting the run around or perceived as second best.

There Will Always Be Competing Issues - Stanford University’s Rock Center for Corporate Governance recently conducted a survey of more than 140 CEO’s and Board Directors for North American public and private companies.  It revealed there are critical lapses in CEO succession planning.  They found that the reason for the lapse was largely due to a lack of focus and perceived urgency.  Boards and CEO’s saw the value, but they were not investing the time in succession because of competing issues on the strategic agenda.  Organizations that manage succession effectively manage the process with rigor and discipline and they review progress against development plans at least every six months, and they recognize that succession is happening within an evolving context.

Manage the CEO Transition – The biggest mistake that can be made with CEO succession is not providing adequate support during the transition after a new CEO is appointed.  This puts the whole company on uneven footing.  It is recommended that the Board proactively identify any transition risks, and they put a risk mitigation plan in place which is followed up on quarterly post hire.

These six tips will ensure that your Board of Directors and Executive Team can manage the succession process effectively, and avoid unnecessary business risk due to ineffective processes.  Overall, pay attention to the broader market conditions and business context, manage the process with rigor, and do not make assumptions about the underlying relationship and political dynamics.

Have you ever been caught in a dynamic with a power tripper?  I have and it sucked.  I spun between uber confidence that I was in the right, and fear that they were going to take me down.  All of the hairs on my body were on high alert when I was around this person and I found myself building my own arsenal of dirty tricks so I could strike back if hit.  At the low point, I lost my mojo.  Because of the physical and mental stress of the interaction, I could not access the powerful part of me and my natural strengths.  I stopped being able to connect with the individual as a person, and I could no longer articulate my point of view in a calm articulate way.  This was a double whammy for me – I felt like a bad person, and I lost my ability to think and stay clear.  But worse, I felt like they had won.

Thankfully I used this experience as a point of reflection in my life, and I studied the phenomenon for the benefit of my clients.  Here are some of the lessons I learned.

On a personal level, dealing with power trippers is challenging.  Rather than deal with them, the first stage of my “recovery” was to avoid them.  I learned how to spot power trippers with a super powered radar, and when I did spot one I avoided them like the plague.   After a few years of this, I realized that I needed to strengthen my ability to deal with power trippers.  Avoiding them was only serving me to a point, but it was creating a bigger risk for me – not realizing my full potential.

After years of avoidance I realized that power trippers could not be avoided if I wanted to be a leadership development coach and consultant.  In my work each time I deal with an executive there is a risk they are a power tripper.  Each time I sign on with a new organization I typically have to deal with at least one.  So, if I kept on the path of avoidance it would mean playing small in my career.  I needed some new strategies.  I needed to figure out how to deal with power trippers and stay safe and confident.  I needed to find ways that I could deal with them without fearing they would take me down.

For me, my ability to deal with power trippers was directly related to the extent that I connected with my inner strength as a person, and dealt with my own issues.  If I engaged in activities like meditation, yoga, and being with loved ones, I felt strong.  I could feel that part of myself that no one can ever take down – my spirit, my inner gold, my resolve.  Step one was finding this part of myself.  Step two was accessing it when I was engaging with power trippers.

With some practice I learned to tap into this part of me in moments when I needed it. When I met power trippers I would ask myself: “I wonder why this person is behaving like this?  I wonder if they do this with every one?  I wonder how we can get our relationship to be one of equal partners?  What would it take?  Is this person interested? Am I interested?  What boundaries would need to be in place?”  Simply asking myself these questions made me feel more powerful and like a partner.  It was much better than, “oh no, they might take me down!” I reminded myself of my strength and the reality that even if I got taken down temporarily I would recover.  I had the strength within myself to recover.  I was resourceful.

What didn’t work for me long term was projecting confidence I didn’t have.  It definitely helped temporarily, but the problem with doing this was it wouldn’t last.  When the power tripper started to poke me I felt like they could see through me and sense my insecurity.  If I projected false confidence for too long there was danger of going down a slippery slope and sliding fast.  If they said or did something that triggered my insecurity my false bravado would crumble and I felt defeated.   So, to be really get good at dealing with power trippers I needed to look at my fears and what I was scared they “would take from me” and I had to find the powerful part of myself that no one can ever take down no matter how hard they try.

Now, I can confidently (genuinely confidently) say that power trippers can’t take me down.  So, they don’t have much power.   From this place I can make a choice – will I partner with this person or not?  There is always a choice.  As soon as the victim mentality comes in problems occur.

While on my own personal journey I also studied this phenomenon as part of my graduate studies.  Here are some other things I have learned about power trippers.

What is a power trip?

• Every time you take part in a manipulative power tripping relationship, you unwittingly collude with the person that seeks to control you.  As soon as you cave in to someone’s wishes that have you compromise yourself a toxic cycle begins.

•  Manipulation according to Webster’s is to “control or play upon by artful, unfair or insidious means, especially to one’s own advantage; to change by artful or unfair means to serve one’s purposes.”  It is generally a negative experience that reinforces dependency, helplessness and victimization.  It constricts relationships from growing in a healthy, balanced way.  As long as the manipulation persists, the manipulator grows stronger and often becomes bolder in its tactics.

•  Manipulation is different from – and should not be confused with – legitimate, direct influence.  Healthy, appropriate influence is typically shaped by rewards and is framed with candid open authentic communication.  Strategies of threat are not used.  The agenda of the influence is clear and discussed up front with those affected.

•  In contrast, manipulation is veiled in devious communication.  Agendas are frequently hidden and purposely disguised.  Intimidation and coercion are the tactics typically used.  Some manipulators are fully conscious and intentional about their actions.  They are skilled at coercion and control and get a rush from their ability to bend other people’s will to suit their needs.  Other manipulators may operate from an unconscious place.  They act out of insecurity, fear or other emotions.

Who is most susceptible to power trippers?

•  People are most susceptible to power trippers when they are new in a role, in a stretch assignment, or there is something going on in the environment that has them second guess their abilities.

•  People who are susceptible to manipulation tend to also have people pleasing habits.  They want approval from others and their self-esteem is often tied up in being liked.  Having an excessive sense of responsibility for the well being of others is the lever that manipulators use to invoke guilt and control behavior.

•  In addition, people who are susceptible to manipulation tend to fear negative emotions such as anger or hostility.  Rather than face the anger, these people conjure up scenarios in their head of the manipulator’s anger.  They take action to avoid this anger even though it hasn’t already occurred.  Imagine a volatile CEO or leader with a reputation for “outbursts.”  This automatically puts people on edge and controls behavior in a destructive way.  People do or do not take action for fear of the leader’s reaction.

What you can do if you find yourself in a power tripping relationship?

• Remove yourself from the situation – The best and healthiest thing to do may be to leave the situation all together.  If the relationship is beyond repair and/or you need time to regain your confidence and composure, removing yourself from the situation will help you to regain your perspective and self-respect.

•  Play for time – To break the pattern, do not immediately respond to the manipulator’s tactics.  Build in time to think about your options.  This will give you back a sense of control and help you to avoid knee jerk reactions to manipulative cohersion.  You may say something like: “This is an important issue and I need some time to think about it.  I will get back to you.”

•  Desensitize yourself to anxiety – Often manipulation works because of a fear of anger and negative emotions.  This leads to heightened anxiety and often, emotional reasoning.  Emotional reasoning is when people confuse their negative emotions with the thought that something bad is actually happening.  The stronger the feeling, the bigger impact these emotions have on your thought process. If you can recognize negative feelings and lower your urgency to respond to them, you will increase your sense of control and decrease your susceptibability to manipulation.

•  Talk to someone – If you are in a manipulative relationship, you are likely spending a lot of time thinking about the situation and it is not uncommon for circular fear-based thought patterns to occur.  To break this pattern, talk to a trusted person that can help you gain some perspective and regain some control.

•  Create a win-in partnership – In order for this tactic to work, you often have to use some of the other tactics first such as playing for time, desensitiving yourself and getting some support.  Once you have done this, there is a possibility you can redefine the relationship on healthy terms.  Be clear on your own needs and where you are willing to compromise and set boundaries in the relationship.  This will only work if the relationship is newly defined and there is a genuine desire to understand each other and for both parties, to improve things.

Reference:

“Who’s Pulling Your Strings” by Harrier Braiker (McGraw Hill, 2004).

Does your job feel like a grind? Do you spend your free time fulfilling obligations?  A key to finding your purpose is re-discovering joy and a feeling similar to play in your work and life.  Write down five things that make you feel alive, and schedule these in your calendar first.  Commit to saying no to those things that feel like an obligation, or a necessary evil.

3.  Give yourself space to consider possibilities. 
In the business world people are often rewarded for being decisive and having the answers, yet to be on purpose and create a fulfilling career you need to give yourself some time and space to explore possibilities without the pressure of “making a decision” right away. I recommend giving yourself at least three months to explore possibilities and make a conscious decision to not decide anything during this time.  During your “exploratory phase” pay attention to people who inspire you and write down what it is about their life that you would like to emulate (passion clue) and dwell in big questions like:

• What do you love about life?
• How could you make the world a better place for others?
• What would be the greatest version of your grandest life?
• If you could wave a magic wand and have three things appear in your life.  What would they be?
• What topics do you tend to gravitate towards again and again?

4.  Tune Out Other People

To be fulfilled you need to listen to your inner voice and tune out friends and family’s voices.  The voice you listen to needs to be your own – your wise self.  That balanced loving part of you. If you have not been listening to this part of you for some time then you may need to build trust with this part of yourself.  When you hear the whisper of your inner voice take notice and take small actions to prove to yourself that you can trust this part of you.

5.  Consider how you want to feel, not just what you want to do

People often spend time considering all the things they want to do, but they forget how they want to feel.  Ask yourself:  “How do I want to feel in 2013?  When at work?  Around my family?”  This will clarify what you need to say “yes” to, and what you need to say “no.”  If you want to feel calm and present at work then you likely need to say “no” to taking on more then you can handle, and you may need to ensure you have an adequate support system in place.

6.  Do work that aligns with your natural talents.

If you are doing what you love you will have the “passion edge.”  That extra edge that comes from doing what you love, rather than doing what you have to do.  When you are fueled by passion, and enjoyment, you will be more likely to put extra effort into your work because it doesn’t feel like work much of the time.  Ask yourself:

What am I naturally good at?

What am I doing when I lose a sense of time?

Ask people who love you or have worked with you, “What do you think my strengths are?”

Consider buying the book http://www.strengthsfinder.com to take their strength’s assessment.  The author’s did the largest study on strengths in the world so it is a good place to start.

7.  Consider a Career Intervention

Last, but not least, consider doing the Career Intervention.  This is our coaching program that helps you explore these big and important life questions.

My professional work led me to study adult development theory and through this line of study I learned a lot about myself.  Based on this, I started to explore my own shadow – those hidden and compartmentalized parts of myself which run much of my behavior but I do not necessarily acknowledge. I discovered some “old stuff” that needed clearing away and I made some huge adjustments to my thinking and behaviour which in the end make me feel more connected to myself, others, and the world.

With this new energy I started asking myself big questions about how I can contribute more to the world, and how I can exercise the human rights that I have as a result of being in Canada.  In 2012 I had many moments of feeling truly blessed, abundant, and happy.  Rather than take this for granted I noticed the contrast between my life and other women (and people) in the world, and I acknowledged how choices made by my immigrant grand parents and parents shaped my life today.  I felt like their efforts and my good fortune was something I wanted to pay back to the world, in spades.

As 2013 kicks off I am aware that it is not enough for me to have a nice life. I have this pent up and creative energy, a fierceness that wants expression -  a part of me that has been sleeping as I focused on my family, being a good mom, and being involved in my daughter’s school.  I, of course, still want to have motherhood as a focus, yet I also need a stronger voice, a voice that is actively working to create the kind of world that I believe in, one that reflects the needs of future generations. Causes that speak to me are around human and animal rights, creating a safe world, protecting endangered species, and educating children to create a future that serves their needs and the needs of their children.

In 2012 I realized that one thing that has held me back from truly engaging in social change was the fear of feeling vulnerable.  In many ways standing up for what you believe in is the ultimate vulnerability. It is putting your beliefs out there for attack and exposing your values for the world to see and reject.  Yet, with this vulnerability comes a deep power filled with vitality.   I needed to process this vulnerability in 2012 to prepare myself for this new life stage.

In 2012 I also became acutely aware of the privileges that come from living in Canada, and I am thankful for our social fabric, tolerant society, human rights, and the social justice system.  This is something that I want to protect, and I want to exercise my rights, have a voice, and make my voice heard.  As I enter into 2013 the big question is “How?”  “What will be my best path The best way forward?  How do I express this part of myself while still being grounded?  How do I ensure I still have time for things like yoga, family, and nature?  Is this a little step forward? Or, a big leap?”  What are the broader contexts I need to pay attention to when making these choices?   These are the question I am asking myself over the next few weeks.

What about you?  What did you learn from 2012 and how has it informed for your desires, needs, and vision for 2013?  Here are some questions to spark some reflection.

Reflective Questions for 2012

• What were the major influences in your life in 2012?  What emerged as a result of these influences that may not have otherwise?  (Think a new job, new boss, new friend, technology, travel etc)
• How did broader changes in society, the world, or your organization shape you?
• How did your knowledge of yourself, profession or organization evolve in 2012?
• Where did you have stability in 2012?  What were the benefits of this stability?  What limits did it pose for you?
• What was excluded from your life in 2012?  If you included this what might open up?  (This can be anything from exercise, self-care, passion, venerability, connection, work etc)
• What did you accept or tolerate in 2012 as “the way things are?” What was the potential cost of this?  The pay off?  How might this be holding you back?  (For example, many people think the aches and pains in their bodies are something they just need to accept, yet if they changed their habits they may see a shift, even if only slight.  What are you accepting or tolerating?).
• What conflicts did you encounter in 2012?  How did moving through these conflicts shape you or your experience?
• What new knowledge did you gain in 2012?
• What were your most proud accomplishments?
• What did you hope to achieve, but did not?
• How did you feel much of the time?  Did this serve you?  Or not?  What led to these feelings?  (Circumstances, habits, actions).
• How did you grow as a person?
• Where did you stagnate?
• What are some news stories or current events that really got under your skin in 2012?  What does your reaction say about your own beliefs or world view?

Reflective Questions for 2013

• Take time to think about your life holistically.  What are the systems or contexts that you are embedded in?  (Example, work, family, extended family, city, country etc).  How are all these systems potentially evolving in 2013?  What are the tiny or big shifts?  How might these shifts impact your opportunities?  Desires?  Priorities?
• What are others doing (competition, key relationships) that you need to pay attention?  How does this impact your opportunities?
• How do you want to feel in 2013?  List three emotions that you want to feel on a regular bases.
• What would need to shift for you to feel this way?  What habits or activities would support these feelings?
• What do you really really really really really want to do in 2013?
• What impact do you want to have on the world?
• What are you curious to learn about in 2013?
• What did you learn in 2012 that you have not yet embedded into your way of working or being?
• What do you feel inspired to get involved with?
• What do you need to stop doing?
• What is your inner voice saying?
• What is your inner Risk Manager (the part that wants to keep you safe) saying?  What evidence is there that supports or does not support your Risk Manager’s view?
• What are your top, non negotiable priorities?
• What do you have to say no to if you are going to accomplish these priorities?
• What is one thing that would bring joy into your life?
• What do you need to commit to in order to be who you want to be in 2013?

Happy New Year!

Does your job feel like a grind? Do you spend your free time fulfilling obligations?  A key to finding your purpose is re-discovering joy and a feeling similar to play in your work and life.  Write down five things that make you feel alive, and schedule these in your calendar first.  Commit to saying no to those things that feel like an obligation, or a necessary evil.

3.  Give yourself space to consider possibilities. 
In the business world people are often rewarded for being decisive and having the answers, yet to be on purpose and create a fulfilling career you need to give yourself some time and space to explore possibilities without the pressure of “making a decision” right away. I recommend giving yourself at least three months to explore possibilities and make a conscious decision to not decide anything during this time.  During your “exploratory phase” pay attention to people who inspire you and write down what it is about their life that you would like to emulate (passion clue) and dwell in big questions like:

• What do you love about life?
• How could you make the world a better place for others?
• What would be the greatest version of your grandest life?
• If you could wave a magic wand and have three things appear in your life.  What would they be?
• What topics do you tend to gravitate towards again and again?

4.  Tune Out Other People

To be fulfilled you need to listen to your inner voice and tune out friends and family’s voices.  The voice you listen to needs to be your own – your wise self.  That balanced loving part of you. If you have not been listening to this part of you for some time then you may need to build trust with this part of yourself.  When you hear the whisper of your inner voice take notice and take small actions to prove to yourself that you can trust this part of you.

5.  Consider how you want to feel, not just what you want to do

People often spend time considering all the things they want to do, but they forget how they want to feel.  Ask yourself:  “How do I want to feel in 2013?  When at work?  Around my family?”  This will clarify what you need to say “yes” to, and what you need to say “no.”  If you want to feel calm and present at work then you likely need to say “no” to taking on more then you can handle, and you may need to ensure you have an adequate support system in place.

6.  Do work that aligns with your natural talents.

If you are doing what you love you will have the “passion edge.”  That extra edge that comes from doing what you love, rather than doing what you have to do.  When you are fueled by passion, and enjoyment, you will be more likely to put extra effort into your work because it doesn’t feel like work much of the time.  Ask yourself:

What am I naturally good at?

What am I doing when I lose a sense of time?

Ask people who love you or have worked with you, “What do you think my strengths are?”

Consider buying the book http://www.strengthsfinder.com to take their strength’s assessment.  The author’s did the largest study on strengths in the world so it is a good place to start.

7.  Consider a Career Intervention

Last, but not least, consider doing the Career Intervention.  This is our coaching program that helps you explore these big and important life questions.