Leadership Matters.
Thinking About Quitting Your Job, Yet Again?
Natalie : February 20, 2012 6:49 am : Leadership MattersPhilip is an established professional with a nasty habit. Every time he finds himself bored at work, he starts sleuthing through the Internet in search of a new career. What may seem like a harmless past time is contributing to his career dissatisfaction and restlessness. The more he explores “his options,” the more confused he becomes about what he wants to do with his career, and whether he should stick out his current situation, or move on. The more he researches, the more his brain churns. It becomes harder for him to access his intuition.
Philip has some well developed skills in marketing. He enjoys the field and feels like he is making a difference. Each time he starts a new job, he is enthusiastic about the prospects and long term potential. He often thinks: “I can see myself doing this for ten years!” But it never fails. One year into the job he starts to think about his options and wonders if he is missing out on a better opportunity somewhere else. Soon after, he finds himself staring bug eyed at his computer as he googles potential career options.
Philip is a Career Maximizer (Schwartz, 2004). Career Maximizers are people who are always looking for a better employment deal. No matter how good they have it they wonder, “Is this as good as it gets?” They are always looking for ways to raise the stakes to see if they can squeeze out some incremental happiness.
About a month ago and after a particularly challenging day, Philip started fantasizing about ditching his career and becoming a Ski Instructor. He indulged this idea by exploring training options, researching jobs on international mountains, checking out the price of real estate at different resorts, and reading marketing materials for ski touring companies. That night he lay awake thinking about the implications of leaving his job and hitting the mountain. He tossed and turned as he did bank balance calculations in his head and weighed all the pros and cons. That week he found it difficult to focus at work and he noticed little negative details about his current job – like the stale air in the office tower and how constricted he felt in his tie.
Two weeks later, he had a new idea. “Forget about being a ski instructor, I should be a wellness consultant.” He spent the night researching different conferences and speaker bios. He felt inspired to make a change and imagined how great his life would be if he took this career path. That night he lay awake wondering how he could switch into this new area, and the steps he would need to take. He was excited until he thought about making a change, yet again. It hit him hard. He just couldn’t seem to stick to things. Then, he felt heavy and depressed.
Career Maximizers and people like Philip often start to think about career options when a psychological process called adaptation kicks in. Simply put, adaptation happens when we get used to things, and we start to take them for granted (Schwartz, 2004, p 167). Each time Philip changes jobs he goes through a careful process of evaluating his options and prioritizing which of his values are most important for him to express. But, it never fails, after two years into it he starts to complain, and take these things for granted. He can not sustain feeling fulfilled. Even though this process is normal (think the honeymoon phase when dating a new beau) most people do not anticipate it in their careers, or even worse, they are surprised by it.
When Philip starts to experience this inevitable point of adaptation, his internal alarm bells go off. Rather then recognizing this as a normal part of his career experience, and seeking out new challenges in other areas of his life, or in his immediate situation, he immediately turns to the internet for new ideas. As he fantasizes about different options, he imagines the novel experiences and starts to feel disappointed in his current circumstances (no matter how good they are). The reality, however, is that even if he changes jobs yet again, he will still reach this point of adaptation soon after settling into his new role.
So what’s a Career Maximizer and person like Philip to do?
First, recognize that all new experiences will eventually hit a point of adaptation. You will soon feel comfortable and you likely won’t feel euphoric. Philip Brickman and Donald Campbell (1971) labeled this the Hedonic Treadmill. No matter how good your choices and how pleasurable the results, your subjective experience will get back to where you started.
Second, boycott the internet for awhile. When you start to feel neutral stimulation with your current career reality, don’t immediately start researching career choices. Instead, focus inward and ask yourself what feeling you are trying to regain. If it is a feeling of excitement, ask yourself: “How else can I get this feeling without changing my career path, yet again?”
Third, recognize that any gains you may get by changing jobs may be incremental. It is unlikely that another change will really bring you that much more joy. Instead focus on other parts of your life where you could experience feelings of novelty or challenge.
Fourth, when you think about a career option, try factoring adaptation into the choice. Ask yourself how you will feel once you have gone through the initial fun part. Imagine yourself five years down the road.
Fifth, foster an attitude of gratitude. Although it may sound cliché, reminding yourself of all the good things you have can have a surprisingly positive impact on overall career and life satisfaction.
Lastly, if none of this works, ask yourself if you are making career choices from your authentic self, or who you think you “should be.” If you are making choices from your adaptive self do some deep personal reflection to discover what you want and need, and explore your emotional history to understand where this adaptive coping mechanism first kicked in, and how you are overusing it today.
References:
Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-Level Theory.New York: Academic Press.
Schwartz, Barry (2004). The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. Harper Collins Publisher:New York.
Harvard Study Suggests Childhood Motivation Predictive of Leadership
Natalie : February 9, 2012 6:43 am : Leadership MattersThe new study takes into account factors like the parental influence, motivational drive, intelligence, social skills and personality traits demonstrated in childhood, and identifies the characteristics that are predictive of leadership later in life.
The landmark study started with 130 1-year-old children, who were followed every six months through preschool and every year from age 5 to 17. They were surveyed again at age 24 and again this year at age 29. Though some of the subjects dropped out of the study, 106, who live all over the world, remain. http://calstate.fullerton.edu/news/Inside/2009/gottfried-longitudinal-study.html
As Allen Gottfried, director of the study, says – how a child initially responds to a novel situation involving new foods, people or situations is important.
“Some hold off, some withdraw, some engage,” he said. Those who engage, “tend to become more extroverted, socially engaging and become everyday leaders.”
Researchers also found that the most demanding children are often the most likely to be leaders as adults. In their want to join or do activities contained the emergence of a quest to acquire new skills and knowledge, says Laura Pappano at Harvard Education Letter.
“It also mattered that a child invested in and committed to the new activity if permitted to pursue it.”
The Harvard researchers also found parent involvement equally important, exlaining that the same issues arise in the classroom as well as at home.
“It doesn’t mean you say yes to everything the kid wants,” said Gottfried.
But if a child “shows a genuine interest” in something, that support can be essential to fostering a key leadership quality—the drive to take on a challenge and pursue it until they find mastery or success, he says.
“That quality is very relevant because when you are a leader you have to delve into a world that is uncharted,” said Gottfried.
Revealingly, the data also found that stronger motivation trumped higher IQ in winning top roles in games.
I personally don’t find the results particularly surprising, yet I do consider them to be interesting. At a time in the world where we are more globally connected than ever, we have an opportunity to collaborate with people around the world, and our attention is fragmented due to constant interruptions, it seems that these qualities will hold relevance in the future. They also have implications for our school system which seems to be traditional, and more focused on following the rules, than pursuing interests with genuine motivation and interest.
Additional Reference: http://www.educationnews.org/parenting/harvard-study-suggests-ways-to-develop-leadership-skills/
I am teaching an upcoming workshop on how to be a more influential HR professional, and specifically, how to influence top leaders. I am really looking forward to it because I co-created the content with Colin Gautrey, an influence thought leader out of the UK, and if I do say so myself, the content and approach is fantastic! It’s engaging, practical, and totally relevant.
This topic is near and dear to my heart because when I first started coaching I used to get stuck on issues related to influence. I remember coaching one CIO who was having trouble with his boss, the CEO. He and the CEO did not see eye to eye on issues. One coaching session, he looked at me and said,” What should I do?” The little voice inside my head said, “I have no idea!” It was one of those awkward coaching moments that triggered, “Oh no, I am not good enough. I don’t know where to take this coaching session.”
My inner critic eventually quieted down, and a few years later while I was on maternity leave and a little bored sitting at home, I started to investigate how I might have helped that CIO on that day. I didn’t really know what I was looking for, but I knew that there had to be someone out there that had a toolkit or ideas that would have been beneficial. Then, one day, I stumbled on a website by a coach named Gary Ranker. Gary is a big wig out of the US, who was rated as one of the top coaches on this or that list. He is an expert in Organizational Politics. When I read his stuff, I knew I was on to something! His work is focused on helping top leaders understand and successfully navigate political issues, so they can improve relationships and drive change.
As it turned out, Gary wrote a book with Colin Gautrey, the fellow who helped me to develop this course. Their book was on political dilemmas at work, and how to deal with them. I reached out to Colin and we hit it off. Now, I am the first (and only) coach in Canada who is certified to use a suite of tools on influence and power, including assessments which help people to diagnose their current capability and preferences.
What I learned from Colin and Gary is that influence and politics are indeed tricky, and the issues become more complex the higher up the ranks someone moves in their career. In a nutshell, I was not the only person who got stuck on these issues, most people do. However, there are a number of tools and tactics that we can all use to work through the issues systematically and to gain insight into what is happening. Specifically, if we use a stakeholder map to identify who we are trying to influence, and the quality of the relationship, and the acceptance of our ideas, we will be able in a better position to identify our next move.
Influence is also wrapped up in power dynamics. And, there are a number of tactics we can use to influence people, yet the tactic we use often depends on the power dynamics at play. For example, if this CIO is trying to influence the CEO, he would likely take a very different approach than if he was trying to influence the receptionist, simply because of where the power sits in the decision making process.
Another dimension around influence is influence style. We can have the best tactic in the world, yet if we deliver in the wrong way, we won’t get optimal results. So, a key part of the approach is using a style that fits the person we are trying to influence, and the situation. A tip is that people like to be influenced in the same way they influence others. So, how you influence one CEO or stakeholder will be very different compared to another, if they have some fundamental personality differences.
So, all of this is covered in the upcoming workshop, and these are concepts that I often weave into my coaching engagements. It’s a relief to have the tools to help clients work through these issues, and I am looking forward to spreading the word.
How To Present Your Leadership Development Plan To Your Boss
Natalie : November 15, 2011 8:53 pm : Leadership MattersIf you are part of a leadership development or succession program you will likely be asked to present your leadership development plan to your boss. If you have the opportunity to do this, here are a few tips to ensure you do it well.
Tip One: Prepare
Before you present your plan, make sure you are prepared. Prepare in the same way that you would for a big interview: think about how you want to dress, consider the impact you want to have, anticipate questions, and figure out what you are going to say about your strengths and development areas. If you are prepared you will be more confident, and articulate, and you will exude leadership presence.
Tip Two: Be Mindful Of Your Introduction
A key part of presenting your leadership development plan is the introduction. What you say in the first five minutes sets the tone for the whole meeting. One of the best introductions I have ever witnessed was from a middle level manager in a crown corporation. “John” said: “I want to start by telling you that I am happy to be here today. I am genuinely interested in being an executive in this company and I consider it a great opportunity to be sharing my career aspirations and development priorities with you.” His introduction got everyone interested in what he had to say next.
Tip Three: Showcase Your Strengths First
Although the topic of “leadership development” is usually focused on what you want to improve, make sure you talk about what you are already good at. One female leader in a start up said: “Although I have a number of leadership strengths such as my ability to develop business strategy, and to create a high performing team, I also recognize that there are some areas I need to refine in order to prepare for an executive role.” When she said this, I thought: “Smart move, lady.” She used the opportunity to confidently remind everyone of her strengths before digging into her development areas.
Tip Four: Link to Business Outcomes
When the time comes to talk about your development goals, I recommend linking your plans directly to the company strategy and your day to day business outcomes. For example, Tom is a Director, Corporate Development for a company going through a merger. When presenting his plan to his boss he said: “Given the amount of change in the business right now my department needs to become more visible across different functional groups, and we need to build our reputation with senior leaders. To lead my team to do this effectively, I need to personally build my relationship and influence skills.” Compare this to Mark in finance who said: ”Morale is really bad on my team, so I need to get better at managing people.”
Tip Five: Pick a Presentation Style and Stick To It
Last, but not least, when you present the plan decide HOW you are going to present the plan. Are you going to read the plan, or use a more narrative style? Either way works. Just pick an approach and stick to it. If you go back and forth between following each bullet and talking in a narrative way it can be hard for people to follow you. When this happens people often start flipping through the plan because they are confused about where to focus their attention. Pick a method for presenting the plan, tell people how you are going to do it, and do it. Also, let people know how, and when, you will ask for their input.
Good luck in your presentation. Remember, when you present your leadership development plan it is an opportunity for you to showcase your career goals and your commitment to personal growth. Make the most of the moment!
Many of my clients feel hectically busy. They are running from meeting to meeting and project to project and when they do an excellent job at one thing, they get rewarded with more work. Although this scenario may fit with conventional definitions of “corporate success” it does not fit with what my clients genuinely want for their life, or calendar. What about you? Does your calendar reflect what is important to you?
If your calendar (and life) needs a fulfillment tune up, here are four tips:
1) Define your values, or what is essentially important to you. Values shift and evolve depending on your life stage and life experience. If you haven’t done a values refresh, start by considering what is important to you right now. You can do this on your own, with a coach, or by journaling about when you feel the best, and what matters to you.
2) Put the important stuff in your calendar first- Ask yourself: If my life was going to truly reflect what is important to me, what needs to go into my calendar first? For example, if health is important to you, your workouts and healthy meal planning needs to go into the “non-negotiable” category of your calendar first. If you value achievement, you need some time for getting key projects done. For most achievers, it’s a bit of both.
3) Figure out what you need to say no to. If you are going to say yes to living your values, determine what you need to say no too. If you are going to have a life filled with fulfilling relationships, connection, and health, it may mean that travelling 50% of the time in your job is a no-go. Figure this out early on, so you don’t feel trapped by your choices.
4) Recognize that living your values isn’t always easy, or everyone would be doing it. Be gentle with yourself and don’t sweat it if you tip the scales once in a while and your values slip. If this happens, adjust quickly and be thankful for the experience because in a round about way these unfulfilling moments are equally important for clarifying what you do want in your life.
Succession Management Article Published in Update Magazine
Natalie : November 2, 2011 7:59 am : Leadership MattersNatalie Michael recently wrote an article on Succession Management in Professional Services Firms. It highlights pitfalls to watch out for and potential solutions. For a full digital version of the article, click here. http://viewer.zmags.com/publication/7d4a33a7#/7d4a33a7/1
Coaching Out of the Box – One-Day Coaching Course for Leaders
Coaching Out of The Box TM is a fun, hands-on, and unique experientially based workshop ~ a multi-faceted solution designed for busy people who want to learn the art of coaching. Participants leave with tools and core coaching skills they can use immediately at work or home. Each participant receives a boxed toolkit, which includes a participant’s workbook, useful forms, coaching tools, and handy reference materials such as a library of coaching questions.
Key learning objectives:
The Case for Coaching
- Discover what coaching is and is not (coach demonstration)
- Understand how leadership styles and coaching are tools used interchangeably based on situation
- Learn the value in coaching vs. telling
- Clarify the link between coaching and employee engagement
The 5 Core Coaching Skills
- Learn to listen (levels 1-3), encourage, question, request and action plan
- Develop your own powerful questions
- Understand the difference between telling and requesting
- Gain clarity on who is accountable for what and when
The 5 Step Coaching Exchange
- Learn how to identify, discover, strategize, clear the way, and recap
- Practice coaching conversations in dyad/triads
The 5 Guiding Principles
- Learn how curiosity, support, acceptance, focus and commitment anchor the coaching exchange
- Understand how personal bias and judgment can get in the way
- Make personal commitments to action and accountability
Cost: $550 + tax (includes full-day session, lunch/refreshments, materials/handouts). Non-profit participant discount rates apply.
Tuesday November 29, 2011
8:30am – 4:30pm
Vancouver, BC
I just finished a three day Masters level coaching course with The Behavioural Coaching Institute that summarized the latest research, models, and techniques on how to change behaviour at work. I was keen to take the course because most of my clients need to change their leadership style and adjust their behaviour in some way to get the results they want. What I have noticed is that clients may have logical reasons for wanting to change, but if their emotions don’t line up with the thinking, they get blocked.
In the course I learned about all aspects of behaviour change, yet the piece that was new and meaningful for me was learning about the emotional barriers to change. Specifically, I learned how to use a coaching technique called Emotional Replacement. The idea behind the technique is that behaviour change happens mostly by engaging a person’s emotions and feelings, and a key to behaviour change is facilitating an emotional connection to the change, rather than just a logical one. To me, this made intuitive sense. For example, my client Shaun knows that he needs to talk to his boss about his behaviour at a recent meeting, but he is so fearful of his bosses’ reaction that he can’t bring himself to do it. The emotion is blocking him.
Using the emotional replacement technique, I learned how to unlock the emotion in a coaching session, so the client moves from a negative to a positive frame of reference. The process involves identifying the negative emotions that a client is experiencing about a certain situation, and then having them imagine a different scenario that elicits positive feelings. Then, you essentially swap out the negative for the positive emotions, and you see how this emotional replacement shifts the client’s feelings about what is happening in the present. This emotional replacement is powerful because it shifts perspectives, and beliefs, and it elicits a different physiological and neurological response. The positive emotions also relax the person, and being in a relaxed state is one key for making mindful choices.
My key take away was….when trying to change behaviour, if you work on the thoughts and actions without addressing the emotions and feelings, your probability of success goes way down. There are lots of simple ways to work with emotions that will feel natural in a coaching session and resonate with leaders who work in the corporate world.
Where do you need to focus your leadership development efforts?
Natalie : September 22, 2011 4:28 pm : Leadership MattersAs a leader you are likely faced with new and challenging situations that test your resolve and your skills. When this happens, where do you begin to focus your development efforts? There is a wide range of development activities you can choose from, and usually leadership development efforts require you to focus on many of the following elements. Review the list of development options and make a note of the one that makes the most sense for you.
1) Cultural and Political Context – Being a good leader requires you to get a good handle on the cultural and political norms of your industry and organization. Understanding the cultural context and political dynamics is an art that needs to be learned. Learning how to quickly diagnose the political and cultural landscape and gaining skills to influence change is a common development opportunity for most senior leaders.
2) Leadership Mindset – What you believe about leadership likely developed from your past work experience, your family, education and the media. Understanding your mental models about leadership and what being a successful leader means to you is a valuable activity. When you are keenly aware of the kind of leader you aspire to be, and where you are now, it can frame your leadership development activities in a meaningful way.
3) Style – How you present yourself as a leader is a combination of: Your Personality, values, and character; Your life experience, background, past experience, and culture; and your habitual ways of acting. Although your style may feel “fixed” it is not. Style is learned. Understanding your style and how it enables or inhibits you is a key component of most development plans.
4) Skills – Skills simply represent what you can do. If you want to take your career to the next level, you need to learn the core skills of your industry and craft.
5) Relationships – Being able to adapt your style to allow for better interpersonal relationships is a component of effective leadership. An inflexible style is often a source of conflict or can cause people to hit a brick wall in their career. Creating effective interpersonal skills and developing your ability to create mutually satisfying relationships is never easy, yet it is key for leadership effectiveness.
6) Career Vision - How can you be an inspiring leader if you don’t know where you are going, or if you feel lifeless and off track with your career? Getting your career on a fulfilling and authentic track is the inner work that is required of all leaders.
Tonight I was laying on the couch with my daughter after doing a big hike. I was lazily contemplating something that I needed to buy during the upcoming week and I said to my husband, “Oh, I have to buy x.” I can’t even recall what the item was.
My daughter who is three overhead me and said, “And, we need to buy me a pink ball with a heart on it.”
I replied, “Why’s that?”
She said, “Shinky (our dog) ate it.”
I thought about this and then replied, “Well, maybe there’s no point in buying another one because the dog will probably eat that one too.”
She said proudly and enthusiastically, “I have an idea! We can buy one for me and one for Shinky.”
I gave this some serious thought for about a minute and then exclaimed, “I have a better idea! Why don’t we buy nothing!”
My husband who was listening to our conversation from the kitchen while making dinner piped up, “That’s the best idea I have heard in a long time.”
I agreed and said, “Okay, well, why don’t we start having “buy nothing” week. For the first week of every month, we will buy nothing.” He loved it.
So, there you have it. Starting the first week in October, this will be our family tradition. Our rule is that we can stock up on food and gas the day before buy nothing week, and then our goal is to buy nothing for the rest of the week. Our logic is that if we have taught our child consumerism at such a young age and we know that excessive consumerism is at the backbone of many of the world’s problems, maybe we should teach her some other values too – like appreciating and using what you have. My grandparents lived by this philosophy and in all honesty, they were the biggest environmentalists I knew and some of the most inspiring people.
So, I will let you know how it goes, but for now, I wanted to share the idea in case it inspired something for you and your family.
On the one hand, I am glad we are doing this, and on the other hand, I find it weird that this is even a big deal. Shouldn’t it be easy to buy nothing?
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